De-mystifying life because life is a mystery.

You know, I am 43 years old and for most of my life that I have been working I have always been working for someone else.  Most of the time they have been older than I am, but the majority of the time they have been younger than I am.  I have always worked to line someone else’s pockets, never my own.  I know you can say that I get a paycheck every pay period, but it is not the same as looking at your bank account and seeing a larger sum in the bank from YOUR sales or services that YOU have performed.  I realize that there are little things like bills, taxes, overhead, supplies and the like to consider, but I still would like to see that money in the bank.  I also would like to know the satisfaction that comes with running your own business.

I am tired of working for someone else.  I want to forge my own path, and run my own company.  I am tired of lining someone else’s pockets for no recognition of the work I have put in.  I want my own company.  I want to have the say so in how the store (if I have one) looks.  I want to have control of what goes on in the store.  If I am providing a service, I want to have control over my time that I put in.  I want my word to be the final word over my company.  I want to be the OLDEST one on the staff (if I have one).

Some of this may seem petty to some, but I am serious.  This bothers me and makes me disgusted and disenheartened with what I am doing now.  Don’t get me wrong, I like where I am working, (most of the time) but having to take orders from people who are younger than I am just irks me sometimes.  Maybe that is a facet of getting older that I am going to have to deal with in therapy.  I have  list of things I am going to deal with in therapy, so whynot add one more.

I may put my list of things up here for all to see…

I was reading a post by Danielle LaPorte about writing to herself 20 years in the past and it got me to thinking, what would I say to myself  at 17 when I graduated high school?  Well since that was 26 years ago, and I don’t have a time machine, (although I wish I did…) this will have to suffice.

1. Stay with the music kid, you’ll be much happier.
2. Credit cards are EVIL.
3. If a guy comes to your dorm room offering a health club membership, RUN!
4. Get over your high school crush, she only likes you as a friend.
5. Don’t take any 8am classes AT ALL.
6. Stick with the music kid, no matter what people say.
7. Don’t let people tell you how you are supposed to act.  Go to the beat of your own drum.
8. Shit happens.
9. Don’t let # 8 get you down.  Go talk to a counselor.
10. Remember #1 & # 6.
11. Marriage won’t solve all your problems, it takes lots of work.
12. Keep your love for video games.  It is one of your greatest loves.
13. You will wind up with a close group of friends.  Don’t lose touch with them.
14. Do some traveling, experience all that life has to offer.
15. Go to more concerts.
16. Write, write, write.  It is another of your strengths.
17. Express yourself more.
18. There is no Soul Mate.  You just have to go with your heart.
19. Never settle for second best.
20. Last but certainly not least, Stick up for yourself.