05/25/2009
Yes I missed a game this past Saturday. I could not get out of some obligations this past weekend, so the guys played without me.
I am not bummed about it, (yes I am, who am I kidding?) but with everyone now a little older, this was bound to happen. We don’t have as free a schedule as we used to. We are all married save one, and there are always familial obligations that sometimes take precedence over gaming.
I will make up for it this next weekend though. They are planning another game so I will definitely adjust my schedule accordingly.

05/16/2009
You know, I am 43 years old and for most of my life that I have been working I have always been working for someone else. Most of the time they have been older than I am, but the majority of the time they have been younger than I am. I have always worked to line someone else’s pockets, never my own. I know you can say that I get a paycheck every pay period, but it is not the same as looking at your bank account and seeing a larger sum in the bank from YOUR sales or services that YOU have performed. I realize that there are little things like bills, taxes, overhead, supplies and the like to consider, but I still would like to see that money in the bank. I also would like to know the satisfaction that comes with running your own business.
I am tired of working for someone else. I want to forge my own path, and run my own company. I am tired of lining someone else’s pockets for no recognition of the work I have put in. I want my own company. I want to have the say so in how the store (if I have one) looks. I want to have control of what goes on in the store. If I am providing a service, I want to have control over my time that I put in. I want my word to be the final word over my company. I want to be the OLDEST one on the staff (if I have one).
Some of this may seem petty to some, but I am serious. This bothers me and makes me disgusted and disenheartened with what I am doing now. Don’t get me wrong, I like where I am working, (most of the time) but having to take orders from people who are younger than I am just irks me sometimes. Maybe that is a facet of getting older that I am going to have to deal with in therapy. I have list of things I am going to deal with in therapy, so whynot add one more.
I may put my list of things up here for all to see…

05/14/2009
I was reading a post by Danielle LaPorte about writing to herself 20 years in the past and it got me to thinking, what would I say to myself at 17 when I graduated high school? Well since that was 26 years ago, and I don’t have a time machine, (although I wish I did…) this will have to suffice.
- Stay with the music kid, you’ll be much happier.
- Credit cards are EVIL.
- If a guy comes to your dorm room offering a health club membership, RUN!
- Get over your high school crush, she only likes you as a friend.
- Don’t take any 8am classes AT ALL.
- Stick with the music kid, no matter what people say.
- Don’t let people tell you how you are supposed to act. Go to the beat of your own drum.
- Shit happens.
- Don’t let # 8 get you down. Go talk to a counselor.
- Remember #1 & # 6.
- Marriage won’t solve all your problems, it takes lots of work.
- Keep your love for video games. It is one of your greatest loves.
- You will wind up with a close group of friends. Don’t lose touch with them.
- Do some traveling, experience all that life has to offer.
- Go to more concerts.
- Write, write, write. It is another of your strengths.
- Express yourself more.
- There is no Soul Mate. You just have to go with your heart.
- Never settle for second best.
- Last but certainly not least, Stick up for yourself.
